After you've been in a relationship for a while, you're likely to encounter a time when the
passion dies down. Work, kids, and fatigue sets in and you look up one day and the person you fell in love with is more of a roommate than a lover.
Everyone falls into certain patterns that are comfortable. But, by breaking out of your
comfort zone every so often, you'll experience a sense of newness in your relationship.
It's important to seek out that certain spark you felt when you first got together
with your partner. Those feelings are still there, you just might need to be creative in
finding ways to bring them out again.
Here are some ways that you can reignite the passion in your relationship:
1. Go out of your way. Remember at the beginning of your relationship how you
would go out of your way to make your partner extra happy? Make these efforts again!
It'll surprise your partner and be a reminder about how much you love them.
It doesn't have to be an everyday thing, but everyone deserves a little "above and
2. Show your gratitude. You often think to yourself how grateful you are that your
partner did something for you, and it's important to let your partner know of your
gratitude, too. In fact, this is the biggest complaint that stay-at-home moms have about their husbands.
Many times a simple, "Thank you for..." statement will let your partner know how much you appreciate the effort.
3. Greet your partner first. When you have kids, they become the most important beings in your life. I know how good it feels to see my little guy after a long day. But, be sure to go straight to your mate and greet them with a hug and kiss. Make them a priority.
4. Spend time alone together. Everyone is busy, but you need to make the extra effort
to have alone time together. It's still important to make dates with each other
and do things you've never done before. Call in that favor to your friend who offered to babysit or let you stay in their vacation home for a weekend.
5. Show affection. This can often be a very difficult thing to do when you lose the rhythm of touch. Getting back into the groove of holding hands, subtle back rubs, and whispering in ears takes effort. The first time you do it after a long drought, your partner may be surprised. Who doesn't want to be shown love with gentle touches and
hugs? Snuggle together on the couch and just enjoy the closeness.
6. Seek adventure. Everyone has his or her own definition of adventure. For the really risk-averse folks, taking a different route to work is adventurous! Do something together that shakes up your routine and exhilarates you.
7. Share your goals. Keep an open conversation with your partner about your future
plans. Things may not always go according to plan, but it's good to talk about your
dreams and goals. I've had several moments where I emotionally shared my struggles with my wife. I'm sure she appreciated my honesty and it kept her in the loop of where my head was.
8. Take an intimacy class together. It's important to brush up on your skills. On March 3, 2018, I am hosting an called "Elevated Intimacy: Ignite Sexual Chemistry and Connection in Your Relationship." If your relationship has become kinda mundane, I have a solution for you. During this event I'll be pulling back the curtain on everything I've learned about how to create excitement, in and out of the bedroom!
I'll be discussing ideas and doing demonstrations that meet at the intersection of sex and spirituality like:
How to get over sexual insecurities
How to make sex a highly-anticipated event
How to increase your energy so you can last longer
How to move with sensuality to enhance connection
How to tell your partner exactly what you want
How to forgive sexual experiences you didn't enjoy
I want you to leave this event with a renewed sense of confidence and, at minimum, a notebook full of new ideas you can try that night ;-)
Get your tickets here
If you don't have time to read this article - and just want me to help you turn up your power to attract the right person and keep the love you dream of - I can do that by providing you with my award-winning coaching.
Click here to fill out the questionnaire and we'll jump on a free 30-45 minute consultation.
LOVE – that elusive emotion that captures our hearts, minds, and imagination! We all want it, but the big question that plagues many of us is, “How do I get it?” This article answers that all-important question and will set you on the road to welcoming love into your life, whether you want it for the first time, had it and lost it, or just want to feel more of it in your current relationship.
Being mentally prepared to allow love into your life can be the catalyst that sets everything in motion for you. If you’re single and used to living alone, you may be pretty set in your ways. You may have a “single” mindset and, regardless of how much you desire love, you can’t picture disrupting your life to let someone else in.
Sharing your life with another would entail major changes to your lifestyle. Let’s face it; the single lifestyle is pretty ego-centric. You go where you want, when you want, and with whom you want. Letting someone else in would change some of that. But does love really cramp your style? Or does it give you wings? Only you can decide.
There are also physical actions you can take to help you prepare yourself mentally for sharing your life with another:
1. Make room in your house. Is there room in your house for another person? You may want to do some cleaning so that another person and their stuff would fit in your house.
2. Make room in your bed. Instead of sleeping right smack in the middle and taking up the entire bed, move over to one side a bit.
3. Make room in your garage. If you have a double car garage, but only one car fits in, do some cleaning here, also, to make room for someone else’s car.
All these things can help your mind get ready for love and in fact – expect it! Instead of pushing love away, you’ll be ready to welcome it into your heart and mind.
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF - Finding love is really a quest within yourself more than a quest outside of you. You deserve love! Know that you deserve to be happy. When you believe in yourself, you open the doors to love. If you feel that you’re undeserving of love, then you push it further and further away from you.
Invariably, others will follow your lead in how you treat yourself and treat you the same way. If you treat yourself with love, others will instinctively love you. If you treat yourself with respect, you can command the respect of others. Never accept disrespect or mistreatment - from yourself or others!
Lastly, be yourself. Being yourself is being true to yourself. When you act like you’re someone you’re not, others will, sooner or later, see through the façade. The dishonesty that started out to make you look good will make you look undesirable instead! In your quest for love, your belief in yourself will draw others to you. You can see this in action all around you.
During coaching sessions, building my clients' confidence is the foundation of our work. Yes, you want to be in a relationship with someone else. But, this is really about you and your ability to be comfortable in your own skin.
Those who exude self-confidence always attract more attention from the opposite sex. Recognize your strengths and abilities and be proud of who you are!
If you want to exude attractive confidence that tells the universe that you're ready to be loved by the right one, I can show you how to do that. Click here to schedule a chat with me.
PUT THE PAST IN THE PAST- It’s important to let go of past loves and forgive those who have hurt you. Even though you think you may be punishing the one who hurt you, the only one you’re really hurting is yourself.
It’s very difficult to welcome new love into your life when you’re holding onto such
negative emotions about prior experiences with love.
How can you let go of such powerful negative emotions?
Try these techniques:
1. Use affirmations. When you feel a negative emotion about the past, replace it
with a statement that evokes a positive emotion instead.
Once you’ve released the past and put it where it belongs (in the past), you’re free
to focus on your present to bring new love into your life.
Dropping old baggage and leaving the past in your rear view is often easier said than done. If you would like to explore how you can create a new love life click here.
How many times in the last 10 years have we heard how hard it is for smart, successful woman to find the right guy?
Every major TV network has done stories where they featured a panel of five or six beautiful, financially independent, career-focused women in their 30‘s who were upset and confused about being single. There are talk shows that dedicate at least one episode every week to exposing the problems alpha females face when it comes to dating. If you Google “successful women dating issues”, you’ll get over 300,000,000 results. Almost all of these posts drone on about why men like me and my brothers “don’t like strong, beautiful women.”
Somebody lied. I do think a lot of men are subconsciously intimidated by a woman who seems to have it going on. But, that is more of a confidence and insecurity issue than a "we don’t like these women issue."
I know, for a fact, that good men absolutely love smart, successful, beautiful women. How can I be so sure? Well, I am married to one. I was raised by one. Most of my friends are also married to or in relationships with dynamic women who hold it down.
While the rest of the media world is talking that nonsense, I’m gonna go left on this topic. Here are 7 reasons why we love women that handle their business.
1. We love to be motivated. When we see our lady making things happen, it sparks the motivational fire in us to build something great. We can look to them as examples of what is possible when we apply ourselves. Nobody has it harder when it comes to advancing in Western society than women, especially those of color. I, for one, am inspired when I see women beat the odds and achieve their dreams.
2. We love intellectual stimulation. A well-educated, well-traveled woman will be able to talk about more than whether Beyonce’s “Lemonade” is really about Jay-Z. Even if the discussion is about Queen Bey, we can explore the nuances of her performance and its impact on culture. We can discuss why a piece of art mesmerizes us, the level of dryness of our favorite wine, and the best independent films we’ve ever seen (City of God!!!)
3. We love to be challenged. A woman that challenges us without being argumentative is one who makes us think. She can tell us something about our shortcomings in such a way that doesn’t emasculate us. As men, we need to keep our egos fed just enough so that we don’t get fat and lazy in our thinking.
4. We love our space. A smart, successful woman has enough going on that she doesn’t need to be up under us all the time. We are not her sole reason for living. She has a life away from us full of friends, hobbies, and ambitions that keeps her busy. It's less likely that she'll trip over a weekend golfing trip with my buddies. A woman with a life of her own is sexy.
5. We love diversity. A worldly woman that has been exposed to different people and cultures can put us on to something new. This shakes us out of our everyday routine and brings us a fresh paradigm. Yes I love a greasy fried fish spot in the hood, but I can appreciate that amazing dim sum place tucked away in an alley in Chinatown.
6. We love to show off. There is nothing better than having a fly, smart chick on your arm when you attend a business function. She immediately increases your value in the eyes of your colleagues. When you can walk away and leave her amongst your peers or clients and you know she won’t embarrass you, you’ve got a winner.
7. We love to be supported. Every man needs a woman he can count on. Whether you in career transition or you're looking for a donor for your non-profit, she’ll have your back. Successful women tend to be plugged into a strong network. This is invaluable for entrepreneurial go-getters like me.
To all the amazing women who read this, just know that you are appreciated. I see you and I know that you long for a good relationship-ready guy. If you want help in the love and dating arena, I’m here to help you.
Click here to schedule an appointment with me and learn how I can support you in attracting the right man.